thank you Lord for 10 years!

Every year around this time I flash back to December 1999 and think about my sweet Momma. And this year I realized that 10 years have passed since that date and I think this part of our past needs to be written down. So take a peek back at 1999 in the life of the Brown family.


December 14ish: I finished my last final of the semester at Baylor where I was a sophomore. I drove home and was so glad for time at home with my family! My older brother Jeff was living at home at the time and going to Hardin Simmons University so our whole family was home under the same roof for the holidays.

December 16: Mom, Dad, Jeff, and I went shopping for a Christmas tree. We always had a live tree growing up and I have so many fun memories of picking out our tree each year.

December 18: Dad, Jeff, and I went to the wedding of one of Jeff's close high school friends. My mom stayed home in bed feeling very sick.

December 19: When I woke up in the morning I found a note from my Dad saying that he'd taken Mom to the hospital. She had not slept well at all and was having lots of trouble breathing so they decided to go to Hendrick Hospital and have her seen by a doctor. Jeff and I got dressed and went to see Mom. She was on oxygen and in a regular room receiving treatment for the flu with a goal of being sent home in a few days. Mom was a healthy 48 year old with no existing conditions so we expected she'd recover quickly, hopefully in time for our trip to Oklahoma to see extended family and celebrate Grandma Ford's 70th birthday and the Fords 50th wedding anniversary.

Mom stayed in the hospital for a few days, being treated for the flu and then pneumonia. But she wasn't responding well to her treatment and was actually getting worse! I remember watching the oxygen saturation monitor and praying, willing it to stay in the upper 90s. Instead there were lots of alarms beeping and lots of numbers dropping.

On December 21st Jeff and I went to see Mom in her room and when we walked in she wasn't there. Dad wasn't there, her belongings were gone, and the bed was gone. I immediately freaked out, ran out to the nurses' station, and tried to figure out what was going on. Finally we got word that she had been moved to the ICU. Obviously this news made my stomach sink and I felt physically ill as Jeff and I walked down to ICU. When we found Mom's room (which would be her new home for many days) she was just about to be intubated. I remember someone came out from behind a curtain (maybe Dad or a nurse) and told us to come and give her a kiss and tell her we loved her. She was going to be sedated and we didn't know when she would be awake and 'with it' again. We ran to tell Mom we loved her and then sat down in the hall, backs against the wall watching the shadows behind the curtain in her room. It all happened so fast and went bad so quickly that it felt like a horrible dream.

For the next few days we lived in a fog, staying at the hospital all day, alternating between sitting in Mom's room with her and waiting in the waiting room with other worried families. We stayed at the hospital until late and woke up early to go back in the morning. My Dad is a Physican Assistant and had been doing surgery and caring for patients at Hendrick Hospital for years so we were really taken care of by the staff there. I don't remember ever being told to come back at visiting hours or to wait in the waiting room. We needed to be with Mom and that's what we were able to do.

The days that stand out the most from December '99 were Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Mom was so sick, her pneumonia had progressed into ARDS which is very serious. (about a third of people with ARDS die from the disease)

We spent Christmas Eve service at our home church. I know we didn't want to go but felt like we needed to be there. The nurses had Dad's cell phone number and we were 5 minutes from the hospital so we decided to go. We knew so many people were praying for Mom, in fact the whole church prayed for us that night. The Christmas Eve service is one of my favorite things about Christmas, and I think our whole family would agree. The best part is when we turn off all the lights and pass the flame from person to person until the whole sanctuary is bright with candle light as we sing Christmas carols. Dad took two candles, one for him and one for Mom. During the last song the whole congregation lifts our candles high at the same time - it's such a beautiful thing to see. When this part of the service came, Dad held the two candles up and one started to flicker like crazy and almost burned out. Dad brought the candles back down and the two flames joined together until the weak flame was strong again. The symbolism was too much and we all started crying even harder, weeping and asking God to save our sweet Mom. After the service so many people came up to us and shared that they were praying for Mom and all of us. A few families came up to the hospital and sang Christmas carols in Mom's room late that night.

On Christmas morning Dad told me that Mom's chances of surviving were slim. I think this is when I officially went into shock. This was not what we had planned, not at all what we expected. I wanted to stay by Mom's side and never leave as if I thought that would keep death away.
And that night we slept at the hospital. I slept on the floor of the chapel. I'm not sure how much I slept but I do remember reading my Bible with such urgency and praying that even if God took Mom I would still love HIM. I think the biggest thing I learned during those days was that all I need is God. Everything can be taken away, but if I have HIM I have a reason to live and I can survive. I woke up on the next morning and went to see Mom- she had survived the night! She was still very sick, but we were all amazed that she had made it through the night. That's when she started to very, very slowly get better. Each day was a victory and each day we praised God for the tiniest of improvements.

We continued to spend our days at the hospital and in the 30 some odd days that Mom was in ICU we learned and grew so much. I would never wish that time on any family but I wouldn't trade it either. We truly experienced God's comfort and love through friends and family that brought us meals, came and sat with us in the ICU waiting room, cried with us and rejoiced at each new day with us. Dad, Jeff, and I grew so close and we learned what an amazing woman Ami was (Jeff's girlfriend at the time) as she seamlessly joined our family and never looked back. Our friends and neighbors opened their home and held a time of prayer every single night that Mom was in the hospital. We had lots of extended family come in from Oklahoma and North Dakota. My mom's parents were in Abilene for at least a few weeks and they made sure we ate, slept, and loved on us as well as took care of Mom. My mom's great group of friends helped celebrate my grandma's 70th birthday, my grandparents 50th anniversary (the party we had planned in OK was canceled), and even planned a send off for me when I had to go back to Baylor. When I went back to school Mom was still heavily sedated and sick and I did not want leave her! I was so worried about her, but Dad really wanted me to go so I wouldn't miss a semester of school. I had to make a choice to trust God that HE would take care of Mom. Mom's friends made me a big basket of home made treats, soaps, and goodies, and prayed over me before I began my tearful journey back to Waco. I called multiple times a day for updates and came home every weekend for a few months.

In the end God miraculously healed my sweet Momma. She stayed in the ICU for 35 days (30 on a vent) and was in the hospital for a total of 49 days. When she was released from the hospital she had to relearn everything from how to hold a spoon to how to walk. She had physical therapy for months and didn't return to her teaching job at all that year. But here she is, 10 years later living a full life!

In the past ten years Mom has gone back to teaching kindergarten and blessing 22 little lives each year. She was there to see Jeff and Ami get married (they married exactly one year later, December 16, 2000). She helped me plan for our wedding and witnessed Keri and me get married (May 25, 2002). On March 23, 2005 she became Cookie when Kiran was born. She was there to help after Kiran was born, after Addie was born (June 14, 2005), after Ellery was born (June 30, 2007), and after Doak was born (December 2, 2007). She has been there to help us figure out this thing called parenting. Through all the changes of the past 10 years I'm still most thankful that she's here to be my Momma.

I love you Mom!